The concealing misty mind

The concealing misty mind makes hours. It works continuously. Without hesitation, without pause, without intervention. It is there. The moment I stepped in my humanly body the mind was more present than my soul ever will be in its eternal existence. That is a fact. The times that my mind went ‘crazy, delirious and non-stoppable’ in its convictions, meanings and judgments are uncountable.

The truth, my truth, about life is that my mind brought me until this far to neverland. It was concealing its own truth, its own existential meaning and worse it was living itself completely. After decades sleepwalking in this same minds unmeaningful soul unworthy straight lined path of self, I know better now. In the sequenced beautiness of the soul self I find my truth nowadays. Before I got there, my oh my, a lot happened in between.
The misty fog of what was sometimes still is and it is really a life long challenge to cope with this mind. As my ego mind is all set in the presence of my humanly self I only can ignore it when I give a true and real access to my soul, its meaning of life and its existence. The existential truth, my existential truth, is not only to find in my humanly shell of being, my vessel carrying me around, but certainly more in that energetic blast what gives me awareness. Eternal, universal, consciousness.
I am misty last months. Due to my burnout. I miss my soul alignment more and the more and get rusted in my own belief of what was, what will be and I forget to live in the moment called ‘the now’. In the trembling foggy state of my mind I have to cope with self. My foggy self wants to veil itself completely, moaning and complaining, behind walls and layers of discontentment, of unworthy feelings and of mistrusting myself, my abilities and what my meaning, contribution to the greater whole, is of life.
Shortly said, my mind produces several hours of unsatisfying internal and external eager to shelter myself… for that same self. Maybe it is all right to withdraw myself in the boundaries and sheltering concept, the old defense mechanism and survival automatism of what was, realizing… say feeling… into my core that it will never be the same as before. After I was consciously set on my soul rooted humanly legs I can, I feel I can do this, easily bounce back when the time is there.
Meanwhile I take my rest, let my mind live its fogginess and in the acceptance of all lies the smoothening. Let it be… let it be… My soul knows and will be there once again when the veil, the sheltering conceptual state of being right now, will vanish itself in the sun what shines on the morning dawn. As the sun always will rise again. So does my soul sun. It is present. In awareness. In its dedication and passion. I just have to get access to my soul switch on button. Once again…
Love, Irmgard🙃
By Irmgard Daanen