Life isn’t meant losing you, getting you, in nothingness. Life is all about being purposed from the moment you set foot on this earthly bulb of existence. The existential truth is not that you gaze through life as I evidently thought for decades. A life filled with obligations doesn’t give you many play room to fulfill your dreams into the enlightened state of your inner soul blast of being.
For I realized that, rather said, felt that… I was a middle aged wife. It wasn’t so that I spend my days into nothingness, doing nothing at all. Reconsidering my decades of family life it wasn’t sitting on that couch annoying myself day in and out. On the contrary. Raising kids is hard work indeed especially when they are labeled into the common label industry nowadays. I had a fulltime job spending those hours all dedicated and with love to my kids and family. After all it wasn’t gazing at all… it just seemed that I stood still. Also for decades.
The moment I started feeling, in 2014, I worked 23 years for the family firm, called my family clan, the feeling of being lost in my soul existence dripped in. The universe rambled on my door, soul door. That door that was hidden for dozens and dozens of years as I had no time to feel. As the divine time came in, step by step, knocking harder and harder into the forgetfulness of my own existential truth, I woke, shuffling, up. The soul gazing, the merely sleep walking, dragging myself into my own light bulb, revealed itself.
Meanwhile the consciousness came in, drip by drip, and the more the universe slammed on my inner door the more I felt alive. The gazing decades were over and in the awakened concept of being I had to invent myself again. In the state of gazing land, into nothingness and nowhere land, I was fallen asleep and the trembling universal effect, as it was divine time, made me unbelievable conceiving in my own worthiness.
The state of worthiness had sunk into degrading my soul self, my soul rooting and the soul worthful meaning of life. Before I had figured that out, felt that in fact, years passed by. As I was a robot, managed all with my mind, I had extracted my soul self, life had extracted my soul self, into a zero state of being. Of unconsciousness. Unconsciously living, gazing and sleepwalking in the meantime.
Set foot in the land of awakening I felt that I had a sparkle indeed. A resonance inside. Isn’t that awesome?!? A sequential thrill what has its own frequency and trembles and thrills you through life. By its light and illuminating sparkling passion. Did I know so far that an inner sparkle could drive and motivate you out of gaping through life into a dedicated heart and soul filled daily life?
The universe is truly a magical energy. As I look back on my path so far I can’t imagine what happened, where my soul brought me and how this same soul had the power inside to lift itself up into an energetical existential awareness beyond words. From gazing and gaping into soul nothingness my days are now meaningful filled with soul matters. I will not pronounce this is, was, an easy path but certainly worthful. When the universe starts knocking on your door please open your inner entrance to let them in. It will enrich your life, you can bet on that!
MY HAPPY SOUL
By Irmgard Daanen